This has taken FAR TOO LONG to finish

From now on, you can't tell lies, are you ready?
Is this a rhetorical question?
What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed?
I don't even know who that was, but it was most likely a family member. In which case, EUGH.
Whose the last person you where in a car with, besides family?
Not sure.
Think back eight months ago, were you single?
No
What do you carry with you at all times?
I don't know of anything that fits this description. Unless you mean metaphorically, in which case the usual: anger, frustration, regret and syphilis.
That was a joke, for the record.
When you say you don't care, do you mean it?
I don't care whether or not I mean it.
How are you feeling?
I hurt all over.
If you look straight ahead past your computer screen, what do you see?
The cloth-covered pinboard that covers a good part of the wall.
Kissed someone in the past twenty-four hours?
No someones, but I kissed my flash drive yesteday.
Are you mad at someone?
No
Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow?
No
What's on your mind?
The upper region of my skull, and a lot of hair.
What were you doing right before you logged into DeviantArt?
Dragging my aching form out of a comfortable bed into a considerably less comfortable chair.
Are you jealous of someone right now?
No
What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
A toothbrush.
Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Depends on the situation.
What are you supposed to be doing right now?
-shrug-
Can you honestly say you'd risk your life for someone else?
Depending on the person, possibly.
Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
No. Thank god.
Anything you would change about your life right now?
I would have more money, I wouldn't be living here, and a few people would be dead.
Would you ever give your number out to a stranger?
If the stranger happened to be an attractive female who didn't seem suspicious, and if I could actually remember my fucking number, sure.
Do you miss the way things used to be?
Define "used to be"
When someone says "we need to talk", what do you think?
"Eh, it's probably important. I had nothing better to do anyway."
Does the last person you texted mean anything to you?
I can't remember who I texted last, because that was what, a few months ago?
Could you handle a long distance relationship?
Not right now. I have in the past though, a couple of times.
Could you cry right now?
Sure.
How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
Whenever serious consequences could result from such an outburst.
Are you okay with the life you live?
Yeah.
Last person you told a secret to?
Don't remember.
Do you like hugs and kisses?
Yes.
Do you like to take walks?
Yes.
Can you recall the last person you liked a lot?
Yes.
Is there a meaning behind your Myspace song?
Sort of.
Is there someone you wouldn't mind kissing right now?
Yes.
What would you name your future son?
Adolf Hitler Tann, so that the authorities would take him away. It's been done before.
Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?
Can't remember.
Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or just put your hood up?
I don't have any clothes with hoods, and I don't usually have access to an umbrella. So neither. Rain's so scarce around here though it's almost nice to get soaked unintentionally.
When was the last time you laughed REALLY hard? Why?
A few days ago, watching Ross Noble videos on Youtube.
Could you go a day without eating?
Yes.
What are you sitting on right now?
A chair.
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Name Questions
First Name: Joel
Middle Name(s): Campbell
Last Name: Tann
What does your best friend call you? Joel.
What does your mom call you? Joel.
What does your dad call you? Joel.
What do your grandparents call you? They're all dead.
What does you boyfriend/girlfriend call you? N/A
Any other nicknames you care to share? Slayer/Slayzie. Tann Man.
Lifetime Questions
What's your date of birth? 6th of November 1992
What time was it when you were born? 1 AM
Where were you born? Miles, Queensland
Who was there when you were born? My parents and my uncle.
What was your first word? Sharp.
When did you learn to walk? 13-14 months after I was born.
Home, Sweet, Home
Where did you live when you were born? Miles, Queensland
Who did you live with? My family.
How many times have you moved? Twice.
Name all the cities/towns you've lived in. Miles, Rockhampton and Gracemere.
Name all the people you've lived with. Too many to name.
Do you like where you currently live? Yeah.
Where's your favorite place that you've lived? Here, I guess.
Are you planning to move soon? No.
If so, to where? N/A
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? England. The climate there is ideal as far as I'm concerned.
When you "grow-up" where do you want to live? See above.
High School
What school did/do you go to? I've been homeschooled for most of high school, but I'm currently attending Rockhampton High School.
Who were/are some of your favorite teachers? I like 'em all.
What were/are some of your favorite classes? See above.
Who were/are some of your friends? Will, Gaerryn, Callan, Crystal, Ben.
What activities did/do you particpate in? Depends what you consider activities to mean.
Did/do you enjoy High School? Yes, greatly.
College/Post-Secondary
Did you/do you plan to attend college? Yes.
If so, where did/do/will you attend? Quantm, hopefully.
...What was/is/will be your major? Interactive Media
...Do you have a special reason or do you just enjoy it? Yes on both counts.
Romance Questions
Currently/
Single or Taken: Single.
If taken, by whom? N/A
...is it serious? N/A
...who asked who? N/A
...will it be forever or is it just temporary? N/A. What kind of question is this anyway?
If single, do you like someone? Yes.
...do they like you? -shrug-
...who is this mystery person anyway? Bugger off.
...do you enjoy being single? -shrug-
Your Past.
How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you have? A couple.
Who were they? A girl I met on RuneScape (WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING), and Kelsey.
How many people have you kissed? A few. Romantically though, none.
How old were you when you had your first boyfriend/girlfriend? 14
How old were for your first kiss? N/A
Did your parents have rules about when you could start dating? If they did, I was never aware of them.
If so, what were they? N/A
Your Future.
Do you want to get married? No
If so, when? N/A
...where? N/A
...to whom? N/A
Do you want children? Hell no.
If so, when? N/A
...how many? N/A
...with whom? N/A
Your Friends
How many deviantART friends do you have? A lot.
Do you actually know and talk to all of them? Yes, although the talk part is on a sporadic basis on all counts.
How many close friends do you have? A few.
Who was your first friend? Luca, I think. Although I may have had a few friends when I was a baby who I've forgotten completely.
Who's your newest friend? My friends at school.
Do you make friends easily? Sort of.
Are you a good friend? Sort of.
What do you like to do with your friends? Whatever. Nothing in particular, really.
How did you meet most of your friends? Church, school and the internets.
Your Best Friend
Name: Aiden
Age: 17
When did you meet? Either late 1997 or 1998, I think.
Why are you friends? We got on well from the start, and both our families started homeschooling about the same time, so we would often get together for events and such and we ended up becoming pretty good friends.
Why is this person your best friend? He's spontaneous and has a great sense of humour, but is caring and understanding at the same time. We share a lot of common interests, and I get along better with him than pretty much anyone else I know. He's pretty much an all around awesome guy.
Is he/she single or taken? Single as far as I know.
If he/she is taken, do you like his/her significant other? N/A
...did they ask you if you approved before they started dating this person? N/A
Your Family
What's your mom's name? Fiona
How old is she? 56
Where is she right now? Somewhere in the house. Not sure where.
Do you get along? Occasionally.
What's your dad's name? Phil
How old is he? 54
Where is he right now? About a metre away from me, playing Solitaire on his computer.
Do you get along? Most of the time.
How many of your grandparents have you had the chance to meet? My grandmother on my dad's side, and her second husband.
Do you see them often? Not any more, they're dead.
Do you get along with them? They're dead.
How many of your great grandparents have you had the chance to meet? One, though I don't really remember her that well.
How many are still alive today? None.
Do you see them often? They're dead.
Do you get along with them? They're dead.
How many aunts and uncles do you have? Five uncles, three aunts.
How many first cousins (your mom and dad's siblings' children) do you have? A lot. Not sure how many exactly.
How many second cousins (your mom and dad's first cousins) do you have? Dunno.
How many other cousins do you have? I have other cousins?
Do you get along with most of your cousins? Yeah.
Are you older or younger than most of them? Younger.
Who's your favorite cousin? I've seen them a grand total of four, maybe five times in my nearly seventeen years on this planet. I have no favourites because I don't know them well enough to have favourites.
Who's your least favorite? See above.
Do you have siblings? Yes.
If so, how many? One.
...what are their names? Nava.
...how old are they? 13.
...do you get along with them? Pretty badly most of the time.
Lasts
Who was the last person you saw? Dad.
Who was the last person you talk to on AIM or Yahoo or MSN, etc.? Jordan.
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Can't remember.
Who was the last person you had a text conversation with? Can't remember.
What was the last thing you drank? Mountain Dew.
...ate? Dinner last night. Don't remember what it was.
What was the last thing you watched on the TV? Bowling for Columbine, though technically it was a DVD.
...did you enjoy it? Yes.
Whose was the last funeral you attended? My great uncle's.
...did you cry? No.
Locations
Where are you currently? In front of my computer.
Where was the last place you went (in the building)? Don't remember.
Where was the last place you went (outside the building)? A concert.
Are there any lights on in the room you're in? No.
If so, which ones? N/A
Is there anyone else in the room with you? Yes.
If so, who? My mum and my brother. Dad's gone outside now.
Today
What's the date? 31/10/09
What day of the week is it? Saturday.
When did you wake up? Don't know.
...why? Because it was the morning. I usually wake up when it's the morning.
When did you get out of bed? 7:30
...why? Because I was tired and sore from moshing for pretty much two hours straight last night, and I needed the extra rest.
How many meals have you had today? None
...where did you eat them? N/A
...who were you with? N/A
How many people have you spoken to in person today? A couple.
...who? My family.
How many people have you spoken to on the phone today? None.
How many people have you texted today? None.
...who? N/A
How many people have texted you today? None.
...who? N/A
How many people have you IM'd/have IM'd you today? One.
...who? Jordan.
Has today been a good day so far? -shrug-
Tomorrow
What are your plans? Wake up, use computer, don't go to church, think about eating, eat, continue using the computer, maybe watch a movie, go for a bike ride, eat, sleep.
What time do you plan to get up? Six.
Do you plan to eat breakfast? No.
If so, where and with whom? N/A
Who is the first person you will see? Probably Nava.
Who is the first person you'll have a whole conversation with? Any one of my family members.
Where will you be when you wake up? The floor of my room.
Who will be with you? Nobody, hopefully.
Favorites
Color(s): Blue.
Number: 42.
Food(s): Lasagna.
Drink(s): Mountain Dew.
Actor(s): Jack Black.
Actress(es): Megan Fox.
Movie(s): Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Tropic Thunder, Monty Python's Meaning of Life and Yes Man.
TV Show(s): N/A
Book(s): The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series.
Magazine(s): N/A
Author(s): Douglas Adams.
Animal(s): Axolotl.
Type(s) of Music: Punk rock, rock, heavy metal, some alt rock.
Band(s): Metallica, Iron Maiden, Green Day, Muse, Rise Against, Guns 'n Roses, Judas Priest,
Singer(s): Bruce Dickinson.
CD(s): Currently Muse's Black Holes and Revelations, which I've listened to almost constantly for the last week.
Song(s): Fade to Black and Sanitarium, both by Metallica.
Board Game(s): Monopoly, Scrabble and Pictionary.
Card Game(s): Texas Hold 'Em and Solitaire.
Misc. Game(s):
Season: Winter.
Month: May, June, August and November.
Holiday(s): Christmas.
Day of the week: Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday.
Currently
What time is it? 10:23 AM
Where are you? In front of my computer, as I already stated.
Anyone else there? Yes.
If so, who? Mum.
Look to your right, what's there? A bookshelf.
Look to your left, what's there? Mum, two printers, the phone and a window.
Look behind you, what's there? Computers.
Look over the computer screen, what's there? Junk.
Is there something you should be doing? No.
Who do you miss/want to be with? No-one in particular.
Where do you want to be? -shrug-
Are you thirsty/hungry? A bit.
Are you eating or drinking anything? No.
If so, what? N/A
What are you wearing? Saga shirt, black denim shorts, glasses.
Are you tired? Not really.
...what about bored? Sort of.
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I am OPEN to requests-Current requests: N/A
I am OPEN to trades-Current trades: N/A
My Friends:
[link]
--
This is the way!
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Some people are like slinkys; Not really good for anything, but you can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs
Me: "Axel baby, I'd be on you so fast you wouldn't have time to scream 'rape!'"
Axel: "........"
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"When in doubt, C4." - Jamie Hyneman
I am Tobin Esperance in dA's Celebrities Crew!
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Baa says the lamb, The lamb says Baa
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looking for a spark of inspiration, get Lit *VisualLit
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